Sunday, May 8, 2011 at 11:17PM

“If we lose love and self respect for each other, this is how we finally die.” ~Maya Angelou

In our lives we have many relationships. I want to tell you about my day today. I woke this morning and went to pick up my son at my ex-wife’s house. I called my new wife as she is out of town for business for extended periods of time. After talking to my wife I called Holly, my friend and assistant, to see how her day was going.

Let’s begin with the ex wife meeting. I am a believer that love given comes home again. To say my ex and I have had a very rocky relationship is understating the facts. It ended harshly and with much pain. The damages created to the subconscious mind were tricky to overcome. Trust was taken and continually misused. It wasn’t until I shifted my attachment to the situation that the relationship could alter for the better. Together we have made a magnificent son. It is for this purpose that the relationship must function in a loving way. Still to this day she values my insights and allows me to help guide her through struggles occasionally. I value her good parenting of my son and respect her for that.

“Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts?”  ~ Confucious

My son is one of the greatest relationships I will ever experience in my lifetime. He is a loving boy who tells me frequently throughout the day that he loves me. I, of course, tell him as well. We laugh and sometimes cry as we go through the learning curves of childhood. I respect him as a human and help him when he does not have the information he is seeking. He in turn respects me and always says “please”, “thank you”, and, “excuse me.” Our days are filled with fun and sometimes intellectually stimulating conversations. Kynan is 7.

I asked the universe for a "fun and easy relationship with a soul mate.” Kelly came into my life. I adore her. I am always impressed by her intelligence, wisdom, talents, and beauty. She has supported me in some of the weirdest things to ever happen to me in my life and I am so grateful for such a magnificent partner in life. She respects me and I her. We are peers and no hierarchy exists in our relationship. I love her and she me. The frequent geographic distances our relationship experiences have no effect on our feelings for one another, and we are secure in the partnership.

Holly, my friend and assistant, stood by me through the thick and thin of my spiritual work. She feels that the work is important and we must spread the word. Holly began her own business and has been watching it grow. I admire her courage for taking the leap and respect her for sticking to her guns. Holly brings a great deal of happiness to my life as she supports the work that I feel I am here to do and she also is a friendly sounding board from time to time as I am for her.

“I get no respect.”~ Rodney Dangerfield

One element you will find in all of these relationships is respect. I respect them for who they are and love them always. When times of relationship strife come in it never changes the fact that we love each other and respect each other. Dominating relationships are relationships where one is doomed to never excel. One is always held to the standards of another. Domination is in essence a lack of respect for the potential of the other. In my relationship with my son, I am the parent and a strong one. When decisions are made I always share with him the logical reason why. It is how I respect him. He in turn has come to understand that process and will not argue the point knowing there is a reason. I give him respect and he gives it in return.

There is no one on earth who is more or less powerful than anyone else. Each one of us has unlimited divine potential within. By recognizing the potential within and honoring it, you propel people forward. That is what “Namaste” is all about. I recognize the divine unlimited potential in you. Thank you for choosing to spend your time with me.

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.”~Lao Tzu

Thank You
Thank You
Thank You

Monday, July 19, 2010 at 7:05PM

“You are a product of your environment. So choose the environment that will best develop you toward your objective. Analyze your life in terms of its environment. Are the things around you helping you toward success - or are they holding you back?” ~ W. Clement Stone

When not being the dashing man of spiritual thought, I have the cool title of Fight Director. I have been choreographing stage combat for more than two decades and find it fun and exciting. On a very rare occasion I get to combine my two loves. I recently have been working on a summer arts program for high school kids interested in the Arts. For six weeks I have taken twelve kids and taught them the fine and fashionable art of creating dramatic illusions of violence. What makes this program interesting for me personally is I get to work with kids from all backgrounds and the story I would like to tell is of a young man named "Tyrone" (pseudonym).

On day one of the program I noticed that Tyrone had a really bad attitude. He was the tough guy and had to keep everyone else in their place. His attitude was judgmental and at time cruel to the other kids. He is fifteen years old with a forty year old chip on his shoulder. Being the type who wants to be a positive force in the world my inclination was to find the root cause and help Tyrone work through his issue.  I slowly began working through the mire in his head.

One day I decided to try a new tactic. I had each of the children tell me their most painful memory. We went around the circle and I was amazed at the horror stories that were told by these very young children. When it came to Tyrone his story started with, “My step dad knocked me out with his gun.” The story was that his step dad got mad and pulled out his pistol and hit Tyrone with the butt of his gun repeatedly. I then asked each of the kids to show me how, in real life, a fight begins. Several got up and showed how a fight starts. As a fight director everything is about the story. Each story has to be told physically and verbally to then be able to choreograph the scene honestly. It became very clear very early that Tyrone had been in plenty of fights. Usually he was the instigator of them as well.

“Man is a child of his environment”~ Shinichi Suzuki

After seeing his scene I asked him outright, “In your neighborhood do you have to be a tough guy?” “Yes,” was his wide eyed response. “So you have to fight to save face?” I asked. He continued telling me if he wasn’t tough he would be a target. “That must be hard.” I followed. His face grew serious and his eyes welled with tears, “Real real hard,” he answered. This young man who has a natural acting talent, has because of his environment become a mean hardened punk, because his environment says that he has to be that or be a victim. Over the next few weeks of the program Tyrone has come to trust me and I have been able to make some serious headway towards helping him surpass his environment.

The pivotal moment, however, did not happen when he was working with me. Early one day I walked off as the group was playing a warm up game called Murder Ball. I came back to Tyrone and Rachel (yup, another pseudonym) arguing. I pulled each one aside and had a talk finding out each side evenly.  I talked to Tyrone first and his story made sense in that it was a miscommunication. Rachel’s also conceded that it was a miscommunication and then she asked if she could talk to him privately. I asked what about and she replied, “I want to share with him that I am from the same kind of neighborhood and am making different choices and moving forward in my life.”  I called Tyrone over to meet with Rachel and I walked away. I let them speak for about twenty minutes when I returned. As I walked up I overheard Rachel saying, “So you can leave you attitude there because here you're safe and because we care.”

Tyrone made a shift that day. He became a happy laughing kid who began to excel in acting and stage combat. He had a few relapses of bad attitude because of subconscious muscle memory, but he quickly adapted back. I tell this story for a few reasons. One, because Tyrone is just a product of his environment. His environment is the way he was treated. If you treat a person differently from what they are used to, then you are creating a different environment for them with you.

What Rachel did was allow Tyrone to put his guard down and be a fifteen year old boy because he was safe and un-judged. I took a great lesson from Rachel and told her how proud I was of her leaving the argument behind and helping someone in need. When confronted with someone with a bad attitude instead of judging them, I believe we should give them the benefit of the doubt that their environment is different from yours and become a different environment of respect and love.

“Our environment, the world in which we live and work, is a mirror of our attitudes and expectations.” ~Earl Nightingale

I am truly thankful to be able to witness wonderful works in the world.

Thank You
Thank You
Thank You

Monday, May 17, 2010 at 11:43PM

“Anger is never without an argument, but seldom with a good one.” ~Indira Gandhi

When someone finds themselves in a confrontational relationship, the first reaction is to meet that other person with like or stronger negative energy. The volume increases and they find themselves having an ever more frustrating experience. They can’t see a way out or around it and they begin to contemplate leaving the relationship. Sometimes people even walk away from parents or siblings in that mix. Many times that is the only option because the other person has free will as well. This being said however, the majority of the time the relationships can be completely rescued and in fact be better than they ever were.

Most people have a hard time understanding the other person’s point of view until the playing ground is leveled. How do we level the playing ground, you might ask? The best thing a person can do is step back, take a breath and try to see from the other person’s perspective. If you don’t agree with it that is OK - people disagree every day. The reaction is not because of the disagreement. The reaction comes from a very different place. When an aggressive or argumentative response arises, it is a direct response to a perceived ego assault. The ego is an interesting aspect of the human animal. The ego always wants to be right and on top. The main reason for this is the desire for respect. Respect - what is it? It is the desire to be loved. And so the vehement response is not the disagreement, it is actually the fear of not being loved (respected).  

“He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

When a response of this nature confronts you the worst thing you could do is feed it the same vehement response. That would cause an escalation and in fact only exaggerate matters. Instead think of this solution:  If love is the thing they are afraid of not having, then give them love at that very precise moment. I had a woman come to me because she was at wit’s end with her mother. It seemed that every time they got together they butted heads aggressively. I told her that when this happened turn to her mother and say, “Mom, no matter what you do or say I will always love you.” Her response to me was that she didn’t think she could say that because she didn’t feel that. So I gave her permission to say the words, do the deed and NOT think it, until her mother gave her a reason to think it.

I didn’t see the woman for quite some time, when I bumped into her at an spiritual expo. She was smiling and so happy to see me. “You saved my relationship with my mother, “she said. She continued telling me that she did as I suggested and said the words, did the deed, and was prepared not to think it. Her mother threw a wrench in the works though. She burst into tears immediately and told her daughter she loved her too. Since then they have had a great relationship.

Everyone wants to be loved. It is why we are here. I believe that love is the purest essence of our Source/God and we are all here to experience our separation so we can come to know God /Universe fully. So, on some level, everyone wants to be loved, because God is Love. When you negate the fear of not having love by giving love instead of fear, you defuse the situation and a new loving situation has the opportunity to take root. You have the power to alter any relationship just by keeping that simple fact in mind. They just want to be loved.

“The key to change... is to let go of fear.” ~Rosanne Cash

Thursday, November 26, 2009 at 7:45PM

I would like to take this moment to express how grateful I am for the multitude of blessings in my life.

I am thankful for:

My Wonderful son Kynan

Finding my soulmate Kelly

My good and true friends - Too many to list all, but a few deserve mention:

     Holly, Tim, Randy, Sharon, Anup, Michael, Stephen and Christy and Johnnie's Angels

The connection to God I am experiencing

The life of sevice I am embarking upon

The roof over my head

The food on my table

The air that I breathe

and the life I am living

Thank  You
Thank You
Thank You

Monday, November 2, 2009 at 3:00PM  [Warning - some graphic content included.]

I wanted to take this forum to share a bit of my dear friend Jeshua (pronounced with a soft "J" and a hint of a "y"). Modern belief is he was a somber, esoteric man who when entering a room choirs sang and lights dripped down from the heavens. He would have laughed at the concept. He was an amazing man who had a wisdom that came in his words that have spanned the ages. They have done so because he spoke the truth. I am blessed to have memories of Jeshua. He was funny, at times stern (especially when frustrated), completely loving (but he understood the difference between love and coddling). He performed amazing feats by empowering people to step into the role of creator by having a true faith in God.
He spoke frequently of the fact that he was no greater than us, that we can do everything he does. His words were always fun unless he need to take a stronger attitude.  He would get you laughing by joking and then slip in a spiritual truth right behind it.  He relished joy and lived it daily even laughing on the way to the cross.

When he was taken, his beating was more brutal than you can imagine. Though I did not see the barbed floggers of The Mel Gibson movie, I did see a whip that had beads woven in for more impact. Jeshua, during his ordeal, cried out and then would again laugh as if to say to the soldier "that was a good one." By the time of arriving at Golgotha his body was covered in a combination of dried blood and free flowing blood. They laid him down on the cross, which was on the ground. (Nailing him on the ground was the easier method for the soldiers.) As they laid him down he slid off the cross because of the sweat and blood. When they raised him up and the cross fell into the hole the jarring action made him wince. He looked at me as if to tell me that hurt and then he smiled. His eyes gazed at me and on the cross, he loved me. I felt a rush of his love fill my body. For a moment his eyes seemed larger than his head as all else faded from my sight. The sky was filled with circling birds waiting thier chance. When he died I was devastated. All I could do is hold myself up with my right arm wrapped around the base of the cross while my left reached up to touch his foot.

My memories of these events are very clear. The more clear, however, is the life he lived before these events. My funny friend who spoke truth, changed John of Old and John of New - and now to honor him I will continue the work as John of Peniel and scream his message from the mountain tops.

Thursday, August 20, 2009 at 5:27PM

“Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.”   —Dr. Hans Selve

In life, there are people who are fixers. These people are loving, caring, and genuinely trying to make the world a better place. If, in their personal relationships, they are involved with a partner who has self doubt or self worth issues, the mere act of trying to “fix” can create an undercurrent of fear based negativity. As well intentioned as their suggestions may be, they are not looking at it from their partner’s point of view. Those suggestions will be viewed as criticisms and thus, continue to fuel the self doubt.

The shift that “the Fixer” must make in this situation is to alter their personal method of fixing. The method needs to shift from an internal perspective to an external one, and more specifically, the perspective of the partner. If the fixer can approach the issue from the perspective of the partner, then they would realize any words that were used could remotely imply fault in the mind of the partner and will create a negative response.

“Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.” --Shirley Maclaine

Each person wants love in their life in some form. For some it is simple respect. For others it is full blown Romeo and Juliet type Love. Each is a representation of a positive experience. When one has self doubt or self worth issues, any contrary statement to their way of thinking or living is deemed as a criticism; making them feel bad and negative. This negative response creates a negative reaction. When the fixer encounters a negative reaction, they are wired to fix it, thus creating a cycle of negativity that is leading to a negative relationship. Each person actually wants the same result. It is the pathway to this end result that confuses the situation.

In your relationship are you a fixer? If so, has it helped or hindered your relationship? If the latter, then try looking at your partner’s point of view, and give them the love they are actually seeking. Each one of us wants an unconditional love experience. We want to be loved for who we are. We want to know that we are good and lovable people. Find what will make your partner feel loved. Give them that love, and you will see the negativity dissipate. Your partner is dealing with the fear of not being loved. If you give them the love they are seeking, the fear is negated and replaced with love.

Monday, August 3, 2009 at 7:26AM

spir⋅it⋅u⋅al⋅i⋅ty    [spir-i-choo-al-i-tee] -- The quality or fact of being spiritual

I was driving to the airport after a lovely week away. Beside me was my girlfriend. Soon she would kiss me goodbye as I got on a plane and flew home. We drove along and the love within me swelled and I reached across and simply touched her side. It was a simple gesture. She reached across and grabbed my hand and held it.

The book of John says that "God is Love." The simple gesture of reaching for my girlfriend was a pure act of love. The feeling inside me swelled until I was compelled to touch her. Acting upon the impulse of a loving feeling is living spiritually. Jeshua said "love one another." By staying ever present and acting from a loving place you are truly living spiritually.

Religion is a re-living of the spiritual acts of Avatars. Their present moment acts were so powerful that people have been celebrating them for thousands of years. Religion re-lives these acts over and over  and over reminding us of how wonderful they were. I wonder if the fact that they are re-living those acts is why the call it a re-ligion.

Spirituality is here and now. Live your life from a loving perspective act upon the loving impulses and reap the benefits of living spiritually. My girlfriend reached across and held my hand. She also acted upon her spirit. Each spiritual act has an effect.

"We can live without religion and meditation, but we cannot survive without human affection." --The Dalai Lama

Saturday, July 18, 2009 at 5:45PM

"A kind word can warm three months of winter." --Japanese Proverb

Kindness. Kindness every day. Kindness every way. Kindness. I sit in a restaurant with my dear friend Holly. The waitress comes over, very much stressed. Her face looks flushed. Her eyes look red. She is moving at high speed. "I'll be right with you," she barks as she runs by. "Can I get you something to drink?" she comes back in a blur. "Iced Tea","Me too" we said and the waitress ran off with a mission. Time passes and the waitress returns "You folks decide yet?" flies from her mouth. "How are you?" I ask. "What?" she says, confused. "How are you? I say again.  She looks over her pad and snaps out of the cloud of stress filled confusion and catches eye contact. "Fine.......and you?" she says. I smile and look her in the eye. "Excellent," I say. "You look like you are slammed," I continue. "Yeah it's busy tonight," she offers. "Just say the word and I'll kick 'em all out," I say with a joking force. She laughs,"I wish you would," she laughs. The rest of our meal and the time in the restaurant the waitress is laughing and joking with us, actually spending her extra few minutes talking with us at the table.

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.--Aesop

We can get so frustrated in the small things that pile up in our lives that we can forget everything is easier when we are happy. When someone thinks to give a smile and a kindness of recognizing the stresses of others, and to actively connect with them, their frustration ceases and for a time they experience the love of source.

When you walk through your day actively notice the people around you. When you come across the person who is not having a good experience, rather then judge them as unpleasant think of the stresses they must be under, understand, and give them an opportunity to release the negativity of stress and fear and have a better day. I hope that someone will do the same for me when I am in a bad mood. How about you?

Each small act of kindness reverberates across great distances and spans of time, affecting lives unknown to the one whose generous spirit was the source of the good echo, because kindness is passed on and grows each time it is passed, until simple courtesy becomes an act of selfless courage years later and far away. -- Dean Koontz

Friday, July 10, 2009 at 11:25PM

In life we meet friends who are representative of an unconditional love not felt with others. We term these people our "best" friends, because they make us feel loved, relaxed, amused. I had one such friend - his name, believe it or not, was Odin. Odin was my friend through family strife, relationship break ups, financial issues, but also there for parties, new girlfriends, and joyful reunions. Throughout these times Odin was always there with unconditional love, friendship, and a good lick upon the face. Odin was my Rottweiller.

Animals in our lives are many things: support, love, safety, security, and more. But each is a representation of unconditional love. On rare occasions some one will bring a pet to a healing day. I learn so much every time I work with them. The interesting thing about working with animals is they too have interesting stories to tell. A couple of friends brought an energetic dog with a hip problem into the healing room. The dog ran about the room with a pronounced limp until he stopped in front of me. I reached out and rested my hand on the hip in question. The dog's breathing slowed, and he got instantly calm. After passing some loving energy through my body I removed my hand, and the dog began running around the room.

What I found interesting about this healing was that the dog understood the healing as it happened. He stopped in front of me, and as I laid my hands on him he fell into stillness while the work was happening. He was an active part of the healing, and had a great result.

Sometimes the outcome is a little different. One person brought their sick dog in for a healing, and the owner was despondent over the fact that the dog was dying. I laid hands on the dog, and had an instant knowing that the dog was not going to survive. The owner, who was dependent on love of the dog, had actually reached a state of wanting to commit harmful acts to herself if the dog passed. Now, I do not think of myself in anyway as an animal communicator, but I was getting information that this dog was going to come back as a puppy for the owner, and that she shouldn't do what she was contemplating, or he would be alone. So the dog was there for the healing of the owner.

Another interesting story is of a woman who brought her puppy in for a healing. The dog had a very spastic nature and bounced all over the couch and the owners lap. She spastically tried to calm the dog. I looked at the dog and opened to the calm loving source within. I focused on passing it to the dog. The dog calmed down instantly. I began to talk with the owner telling her that her dog was representing what the dog was getting. Over the next twenty minutes I continually let the dog get spastic with the owner, and then calm with me, expressing to her that the dog was matching her energy, and all she had to do was relax and the dog would as well.

In India there was a young guru named Swaminarayan. During his famed 12,000 kilometer trek around India at age eleven, he wandered into a village that had been the site of nightly attacks by a man eating lion. Swaminarayan arrived in the village at dusk as the villagers were retiring for the evening in their homes as to not be outside during the night hours when the lion attacked. Seeing the young boy coming into the village the people offered him homes to stay in for the night. He refused. In the morning when the villagers opened their homes they were amazed to see Swaminarayan sitting in the square with the lion resting in front of him. When asked how this could be the swami said that he showed the lion no fear, and so the lion gave him nothing to be fearful of.

"Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms."--
George Eliot

Thursday, July 9, 2009 at 10:09PM

"It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages." -Friedrich Nietzsche

In my work as a healer, I work closely with couples. I find it interesting that the couples healings are riddled with "she needs to" and "he has to" statements. The healthiest relationships are ones based on one simple fact. The fact is that two healthy individuals come together and choose to walk side by side through life. Each enhances the other's life, and actively thinks of the other's experience, and how they can help.

The second their thoughts turn towards expectation, or projection of what the other should do, then the troubles begin.  True friendships are strained  when the friend either treats, or is treated as anything but a friend. True and loving friendships have no expectation or projection - they just are. I have a couple of friends that I have had since childhood, Tim and Beau. Each of these men has been such a powerful part of my life, and I love them both as brothers. There are long periods of time when we do not see each other, and yet when we come together again, the conversations start as if it were the next sentence in the paragraph. There is no time of hurt feelings between us.

When choosing to walk together as husband and wife, business partners, or even friends you must release the conditions, and love them unconditionally. Accept them for who they are, and decide to walk together with them in a relationship.

In a marital relationship, friendship is imperative. Love unconditionally, and then express your choice of loving yourself.  Be your own friend by letting go of your ego, setting down your walls and barriers of fear, and allow the other to see you for who you really are. Once they do, they also have the free will of choosing to walk beside you.

If you want a loving relationship in your life, then be the loving relationship you want with the one that matters most. If you're not in a relationship currently, then be the relationship, and it will be attracted. Ask for it and then be it.

Co-dependency is a weak foundation to build a successful relationship upon. It only weakens the one who carries the majority of the load. Choose to walk together enhancing your partner, and you will create the relationships of your dreams.